/PRZWT/Shanghai, September 5, 2024 - With a strong school atmosphere, on September 2, the "2024 Fanshu School Season Speech" was successfully held at Shanghai Yan'an Junior High School, attracting many parents to listen. As the "First Parent-Teacher Meeting of School", this Fanshu School Season Speech featured the theme of "70 points for good parents is just right". Fan Deng, founder and chief content officer of Fanshu APP, Li Lei, speaker of Fanshu APP "Li Lei Talks Classics", Dr. Ji Xueping, recommendation officer of Fanshu APP, and Dr. Jin Bo, speaker of Fanshu "Extraordinary Intensive Reading Hall", jointly brought parents an in-depth exchange on educational cognition and methods.
"This time, parents need to change first."
As the opening guest, Fan Deng "cleared the clouds" for parents around the importance of parenting science, brain science, and common problems in current family education. He mentioned the book "Teenagers Speak" he had read, from which he clearly learned that children and parents have different ways of thinking. A big problem in current family education is that parents rarely listen to their children's voices, resulting in a world cut off from parents.
In his speech, Fan Deng selected a list of classic books he has interpreted, and proposed the concept of "three pillars of family education", including "unconditional love", "sense of worth" and "lifelong growth mentality." He emphasized that unconditional love is the most important thing to express, and let children know that it is not difficult to get support in the family, and there is no need for mutual threats, intimidation and control. Unconditional love is not the same as coddling, and parents should give children the necessary guidance and norms in love. At the same time, he said, helping children develop a sense of value by giving affirmation and encouragement when they do things right will be more educational than correcting children when they do things wrong. When children make mistakes, they should be actively encouraged not to be afraid, so as to teach children a lifelong growth mindset.
In Fan Deng's opinion, many parents currently pursue perfection too much in the process of parenting, but ignore the real needs and feelings of their children. Children's sense of security does not come from the outside, but from the attention and love of parents. He emphasizes that parents should become "70-point parents", that is, they should not interfere too much in their children's growth, give them enough freedom and space, and at the same time not overly doting, so as to ensure that children grow up in a healthy environment. Through many vivid cases, Mr. Fan Deng deeply analyzed the negative impact of excessive parental rewards and punishments on children's psychological growth.
He emphasizes that the characteristics of a good family are love, respect and laughter. He advises parents to maintain a peaceful attitude when communicating with their children, and listen to their children's thoughts and feelings with an understanding and inclusive attitude. At the same time, he also encourages parents to give their children more choices, so that children can learn to make independent decisions and take responsibility as they grow up. "The point of education is not to change children, but to change parents first."
"Take the parent-child lesson of a good life"
As a mother and daughter, Li Lei shared her experience of growing up and rethinking the parent-child relationship. She dissected the change in her mindset, and after becoming a mother, she found that this identity was far more challenging than she expected, but it also brought unprecedented love and satisfaction. When talking about her educational practice, Li Lei made clear her two principles as a mother: one is to avoid double standards of speech education for children, to avoid sending contradictory and divisive messages; the second is to honestly face their ignorance and learn and grow with their children. She encouraged parents to pay attention to their children's personality education to help them become independent, complete and life-loving people. She emphasized that "exams are not important, but learning is important. Success is not important, but adulthood is. Correctness is not important, but love is important. "
When it comes to her mother, who died half a month ago, Li Lei can't help but shed tears at the scene. Quoting a verse from Long Yingtai's "Watching", she deeply expounds the inevitability of the growing distance between parents and children and the farewell and reluctance in this process, and then proposes that people should cherish each other's company more when facing the limitations of life. "What we will not forget is love and warmth. As long as those loves have appeared, they will never disappear."
"The winner in life is never determined by winning at the starting line"
As a neurosurgeon, Jin Bo's speech emphasized the importance and complexity of the brain from the perspective of brain science. "If the child can't run in the middle, what's the point of winning at the starting line?" Jin Bo pointed out that humans are powerful precisely because we lost to other animals at the "starting line" in the first place, but this "loss" gives us great adaptability and plasticity.
At the end of his speech, Jin Bo used the inspiration of the movie "Catch a Doll" to reflect on the current misunderstandings of education. He called on parents to create a real, broad and healthy world for their children. "Sleep well, exercise well, eat well. Real medicine often comes from life."
"Inner order, become a 70-point parent"
Ji Xueping delves into the crucial role of goal setting in family education. She emphasizes that people need goals and that "goals and plans are the magic key to happiness and success". However, she also points out that achieving goals is a lifelong practice and should not take a semester or school year as the time frame. She uses Wang Yangming as an example to illustrate that goal setting should be based on personal interests and internal needs, rather than externally imposed standards.
In her speech, Ji Xueping particularly emphasized the importance of establishing inner order. She quoted the opinion of Maria Montessori, the first female brain scientist in Europe, and pointed out that 0-6 years old is a critical period for children to establish inner order. The establishment of inner order not only helps children adapt to the rules of the external world, but also provides them with a sense of security and satisfaction, making them more brave and wise in the face of challenges. Then, Ji Xueping further pointed out that parents play an important role in helping children establish inner order. Children's good inner order and goals can better help them achieve a sense of well-being.
Finally, Ji Xueping emphasizes that every day is important, and parents should consciously live with awareness, so as to better accompany their children's growth and help them realize their self-worth. She recommends "The Courage to Be Hated" to book friends, encouraging every family to find their own happiness.
In the question-and-answer session at the end of the event, the parents at the scene spoke enthusiastically. Several parents mentioned the difficulties of the theory of "Nonviolent Communication" in the practice of family education, and they couldn't help but "roar baby". The four teachers answered this respectively. Jin Bo analyzed from the child's health education that the confrontational behavior of "roar baby" may cause the child's rebellion to delay and rebellion to stagnate, and ultimately cause irreversible psychological trauma to the child. Ji Xueping and Li Lei respectively helped parents find ways to relieve themselves in the emotional moment from the perspective of women.
Fan Deng finally concluded, emphasizing that "don't take" roaring baby "as" helpless ", but should pay attention to" roaring baby "and understand the harm that this behavior may cause to children. The audience applauded enthusiastically, the event was full, the atmosphere was warm, and parents expressed their approval and emotion. One parent said:" The teachers' speech made me re-examine my parenting style, and I realized that I was not good enough in many aspects. In the future, I will strive to be a better parent and give more love and support to my children. "
More than 100 branch venues, sail books light up the hearts of millions of parents
The three-hour speech time is not long, but the significance of this event will not be limited to one place at a time. Relying on the online Douyin platform, parents from all over the country gather for this meaningful "parent-teacher conference". It is reported that this three-hour online speech, the Douyin platform has nearly 6 million viewers and nearly 60 million exposure. At the same time, offline, this year's "Fan Book School Season" keynote speech has set up sub-venues at more than 100 points across the country, and the offline participation crowd has exceeded 7,000 people.
This event not only provided parents with valuable parenting knowledge and experience sharing, but also stimulated their profound reflection and active practice of educational concepts. The successful holding of this speech event in the school season of Fanshu not only provided parents with a rare learning opportunity, but also injected new vitality and motivation into the field of education. I believe that in the days to come, Fanshu APP will continue to adhere to its original intention, use books as a medium and wisdom as a guide, and accompany every family through every important moment of education.
